Countdown to 2015 – 3 – Find Your People

The countdown to 2015 continues here, moving right along from self care to sharing our fabulous selves with others. This post is brought to you by Finding Your People.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be that kind of a friend for your friends.” ~ Mark Twain

Since we just talked about self care it seems appropriate to talk about finding what I like to call “my team” in supporting me in that. For me, once I started making big changes in my life, I needed more and more support as things showed up. This touched on those categories again of mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, cultural and social.

I didn’t consciously realize it at first, but I was putting together a support network for myself. This included a naturopath, an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, a shaman, a therapist and a meditation teacher. I hope to add ‘mentor’ to this list soon.

I do understand that I had the resources to have such a team and I’m grateful to that. I think there are options out there to trade services/talents, to work with students training to be in these roles, to seek online resources, to save money and have a fund for this sort of thing and I welcome other ideas for how to make these types of services accessible. Part of it is making it a priority as well.

I also sought support from people in my personal network. A few friends of mine and I formed a brunch club that met every other week or so. We were each seeking to make some changes in our lives. We would meet for brunch and talk about what each of us was doing towards those goals and we would share resources, ideas and encouragement.

One thing that will happen as you start to make changes is that some relationships will change in your life and maybe even fade. This was unexpected for me and I struggled with it at first. We all get so comfortable with experiencing people how we know them and when they start to act out of that role it can feel confusing and maybe even like a betrayal.

Change is often scary and so when you have the courage to make a big change and follow through with it, it can bring up feelings for others about their own changes they want to make and are maybe avoiding. So this is difficult and I have had to mourn some relationships. I do think it is necessary though and is really better for everyone in the long run.

I recently read a fantastic book on relationships from a Jungian perspective called “The Eden Project”. The basic premise is that we project our own fears and our own desires onto our relationships (especially our romantic, intimate relationships). The challenge and the goal is to remember that we are each unique beings on our own journeys and to focus on our own individuation and then support others in their own individuation.

It is about bringing our best selves to the table and fiercely guarding that for ourselves and others. In our romantic relationships, I think it is especially crucial to have agreements with each other around how we’re going to do this as a team.

Depending on where you’re at in your journey, you may be kickin’ it solo right now. I totally geek out on the hero’s journey, the pattern found in the stories and myths of cultures worldwide throughout the ages whereby the “hero” undertakes a journey into the unknown, into solitude to discover his/her unique gift. In times of solitude and liminality such as this, “Your People” still show up, maybe as teachers and guides and accomplices.

I’ve been on a solo journey for a couple of years now and it has heightened my senses and awareness to those whose paths cross mine. Why those people? What can I learn from them? Who am I attracting into my life right now and why? What am I sharing with them? I have learned so much about myself from paying attention to this.

One thing that has arisen out of these new relationships is the idea of creative collaboration. In the past year in particular, I have started working on some creative projects with people close to me. In some cases this has been inspired by a shared passion, in others because there’s been a shared goal or desire and we’ve gotten creative and supportive about how to meet the goal.

This has been photography projects, informal peer coaching, dream work, scavenger hunts to have fun getting to know a new town, and here at the estancia where I am living we are always challenging each other to do new things and to create together to keep things interesting and fulfilling while living in a quite remote place.

Creativity is a tool, a gift even, that we all have in some way and it is so expansive to engage in creative practices. It opens possibilities and doors, encouraging your brain to be a bit more of a wild child, a dreamer.

Ok so here are some actions we can take in these areas:

Take an inventory of your relationships – personal and professional. Who is in your inner circle? What values do you share? How does this show up? What do you give to and receive from these relationships? Are there any that are changing or need to change?

Seek a mentor.

Seek a community for shared experiences of your passions and interests.

Sit down with your lover and come up with agreements for how to be a team while also serving your authentic selves.

Play with some kids.

Start a creative collaboration project with a friend.

Form your support team.

Start an equivalent of a brunch club with friends…maybe do that right now and share where you’re at with setting intentions for this year and use this as a way to check in with your intentions and stay loyal to them.

Thank you for tuning in to this series of ten blogs posts on personal development practices for a fulfilling 2015. If you’re just arriving, welcome! Here’s where we’ve been:

10 – Setting Intentions

9 – Expressing Gratitude

8 – Wandering in Nature

7 – Playing with our Passions

6 – Letting to go Excuses

5 – Law of Attraction and Ritual

4 – Self Care

If you like what you are reading, please consider backing my kickstarter.com called: Let’s Go on an Adventure! and please share too. The campaign is focused on writing and publishing a book about my transformative adventure from Corporate America to a life designed around passions and also includes an interactive guidebook to help those wishing to make their own personal changes.

I have 3 days left in my campaign, all or nothing!

You can read more about my story at erinkmac.com and continue to receive this blogs by clicking the ‘follow’ button.

Thank so very much for coming along on this adventure.

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What Inspires You?

I had the pleasure of having the most intense experience of my life in every way you can imagine and some you probably can’t…deep in the Amazon on a thirty-three day transformation retreat. We learned many traditions and engaged in several ceremonies during this time, guided by a shaman who had experienced intense healing himself from this very selva (jungle).

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One type of ceremony we practiced was a coca ceremony, where the sacred plant is shared over the course of hours in a highly ritualistic setting while the group holds council on a single, chosen topic. It is important to note that these ceremonies were guided by a shaman whose focus is on healing, and were accompanied by elements of candles, song, blessings, and shared intentions.

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The topic for this particular ceremony was to ask ourselves: What inspires me? Where do I fit into the cosmic evolutionary journey? We talked about all sorts of ways to take action, to work with kids, to bring what we were learning in the jungle back to our “real world”, and how each of us individually felt inspired to provide a unique gift.

After some thought, here is what I had to say:

I do not know what my passions and talents are right now. I’m out wandering the world looking to discover just that: my inspiration, my gift to give. What I do know is that every one of us is unique. If we learn to live in a sustainable relationship with our Earth, life could go on and on and on, and there will never again be another “Me”.

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How exciting! The possibilities!! But I also get overwhelmed with the responsibility of this! I mean, wow. I believe we each have a particular place in time and space where our passions, talents, and skills meet in a perfect storm for what the community and the world need from us. Our gift and our service to the world is to be at our best and our happiest, really owning our true nature.

It reminds me of a drum circle, also unique to those who make it up and their ebbs and flows and rhythms in that moment. You don’t just go into the circle thinking, “I’m gonna rock this super sweet beat!” You listen, you feel it. Where is the space that is available to me, the place where my soul is needed? And as more of us realize that space and jump in with conviction, the collective rhythm takes it in and evolves exactly as it should.

I used to be overwhelmed and concerned…if I follow my dreams and passions and everyone else does too, who will want to be the garbage man (for example)?? Over time I have realized that if we were all living to our greatest creative potential, we wouldn’t be living the same stories that we are today. There very well might not be a need for a garbage man because we would have another unique solution entirely.

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I think this is critical. To see the possibilities that we haven’t even thought of yet, when we each take responsibility for following our passions and realizing our gifts, and creating new stories together. There are worse things you could be asked to do, no?

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When I left Denver to wander the world, expose myself to the unknown to get to the core of what is me, in some ways it was like a mini funeral. Sure, saying goodbye to familiarity was akin to a little death. During many goodbyes and ‘see ya laters’ friends opened up to me about why they will miss me. It was a unique and special opportunity for me to hear from the people I care about the most; what do they see in me?

I hold this in my heart as I wander and I hope to give others this gift in return. To tell them now, “Here is how I experience you… Here are the gifts that I get from you…” If we each seek to embody our own true nature, we can grow personally and in turn collectively participate in the evolutionary journey.

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